Man. Bad days suck.
They can extend into weeks, and unfortunately for some, seasons of our lives. It's just part of life, they say. Things will work out, they say. Trust God, they say, even more.
Yes... I know. But it still flipping sucks sometimes.
When you have a crappy workday.
When you drop your less-than-three-week phone and shatter the screen.
When you wanted something so much (and thought you'd get it), but it wasn't in the cards.
When you realize you need to tighten up your spending, like yesterday... and realize even more how much life costs sometimes. And how embarrassing it is to admit it.
When you wish your family was closer so that you could go eat dinner with them.
When you have more crappy, crappy workdays. And question what you are doing there.
When you neglect your blog, when it's usually an outlet for you.
Ugh.
Things have seemed to just drop on top of one another. I mean... it overwhelms me all over again just thinking about it (so, why are you writing about it, Jen?!). But, it's a different kind of overwhelming- if there are even different kinds.
It is overwhelming. But, it hasn't seemed to bring me so far down. Why is that? Is it the work with my therapist? Is it the Holy Spirit keeping me afloat? Is it finally realizing there is so much more to life, even when you have bad days?
Honestly... I am sure it's a combo of all that. And probably because I will be 30 in January... and that's how 30 year olds respond to things. ;) Obviously.
Even amongst all the crazy and frustrations, I am more keenly aware of the many blessings in my life. It was so easy for me to see them this time, as opposed to being so clouded before and only seeing the bad.
The number one thing that I noticed... the amazing support system I have in my family and friends. This is one of those things that I would say 'til I was blue in the face, but never really understood. Now I do. My family and friends will support and sacrifice for me. I am seriously so blessed. So, so blessed. And thankful.
And this TWO YEAR OLD:
Her smile gets me every time.
Her, "Aunt En"'s and stories and laughs and "I bein' silly!"'s just melt my heart.
The amount of times this girl brings me back to life is an amazing thing.
Oh, and those pigtails.
Even the simple things have brought me so much joy recently, like pulling up to my house and seeing my lit pumpkin!! :) It's amazing how a fake pumpkin can make your house feel more homey.
Um, also... how beautiful "Fall" can be here. It's been SUCH a blessing to finally be rid of some of the humidity and heat, and not die every time you walk outside:
See??? Look at the blue sky. It's crazy that I live in FL. I mean... seriously.
And then your friends (Mart, Tom and the babe) take you to CPK to celebrate your TWO years in Florida. What?! How did that even happen. I came down the day after Zuz was born and haven't left. It's easier for me to grasp Zuz being 2 than it is for me to grasp being down here for two years. It's been a wonderful, sometimes difficult, 2 years, but I wouldn't change a thing. :)
One of the best things.... I have started to find a community down here. I have friends. I mean, I have always had friends, but not in my area. I love the Orams, but sometimes you need to hang out with other people. It has been a constant prayer, basically for the last two years, for which I have not seen the fruits. I was
So, yes. I have had a sucky couple of weeks. I wish they could have been different. And while I am still bummed (maybe seem a bit more bummed to my mom and Mart), I am fine. I am so thankful my perspective has changed somehow and I am able to see the sweet side of my life, through the crazy. Because I do, indeed, live a very, very sweet life.
